If there was one big-budget sci-fi/fantasy/general high-concept blockbuster of the 1980s that was never asking to be revered, it was Ghostbusters. A perfectly fine slice of SNL-flavoured supernatural action-comedy, it was a film with big ideas, yes, but also one in which Dan Aykroyd got sucked off by a ghost while making a funny face, the sort of profoundly of-its-time comedy that gets remembered fondly but then left alone. Yet, Hollywood’s hunger for IP is insatiable, and here we are in 2024 with the fifth instalment of this, fittingly, necrotised franchised in the form of Frozen Empire, a direct sequel to 2021’s overly serious Afterlife and one of the most dismally boring and low-impact blockbusters I’ve seen since the hideous low point of 2022’s Jurassic World Dominion.
After Afterlife took the series to Oklahoma to meet Spengler descendant Callie (Carrie Coon), her two kids Phoebe (McKenna Grace) and Trevor (Finn Wolfhard), and science teacher-turned-stepdad Gary (Paul Rudd), Frozen Empire brings us back to the series’ natural home of New York. The Spenglers + Gary clan are now fully-fledged Ghostbusters, decked out in the iconic outfits and living in the equally iconic firehouse, making a living trapping low-level spirits before a new threat rises in the form of ice demon/god-of-all-ghosts Garraka.
You may assume from the trailers, heavily featuring as they did a completely frozen Big Apple, that a lot of Frozen Empire’s runtime would be devoted to this new villain and, technically, it is, but not as has been promised. See, Garraka is trapped in some ancient Indus Valley Civilisation magic orb, and remains so for at least the first hour of the film’s sub-two hour runtime, where he is often talked about but does absolutely nothing. Here is Frozen Empire’s fundamental problem – it’s boring. Moving at a mystifyingly slow speed, nothing of note happens for vast stretches of this movie, in which the main drama is a half-baked semi-romance between Phoebe and a teenage ghost girl that then goes nowhere.
Adding to the stultifying dullness is the amateurish direction from Gil Kenan, who co-wrote Afterlife and here takes over from Jason Reitman as the captain of this creaky and leaky ship. Action scenes are weightless and horribly lit, while performances across the board are terrible (with the notable exception of Kumail Nanjiani, who does squeeze some fun out of his role as a reluctant chosen one) and dialogue scenes shot and edited so poorly that half the lines feel like mistakes that somehow snuck into the final cut. Even by the low standards of the modern blockbuster, Frozen Empire is just really badly made on a purely technical level (though, credit where it’s due, the VFX team do a pretty convincing job with all the ghosts and ghouls).
When the big final action scene does arrive, bringing with it the original Ghostbusters crew including a sedated-looking Bill Murray, it’s then over in a flash, with no real menace. So, if it fails as an adventure story, does it work – as the original did – as a comedy at all? No. I can’t think of any gag that got anything more than a faint smile out of me – not even James Acaster, one of my absolute favourite comedians in his first big film role, can make this script funny – and most failed to do even that. Please, please, please, let this be the last of this utterly hopeless franchise.
Jack Blackwell – Film Reviews 