Of all the franchises and IPs getting the big-budget blockbuster treatment in 2026, Masters of the Universe is without a doubt the most confusing choice. Up against Star Wars, a couple of Marvels, steadily reliable animated series (hell, even the atrocious The Bride was riding a real wave of renewed interest in the Frankenstein mythos), putting $170 million behind a toy/cartoon franchise with only a hyper-specific ‘80s run of popularity is a real high-risk, low-reward endeavour. And so it has proved with a dismal box office so far, a shoddy showing that Travis Knight’s He-Man reboot mostly deserves, an overlong, overly self-conscious fantasy adventure that, fun villain aside, never finds an interesting identity.
Masters of the Universe shoots itself in the foot early, spending a large chunk of its exposition-laden first half hour basically apologising for itself and how ridiculous its world and characters are. Yes, this is a silly series, all campy ripped dudes and sidekicks with names like Fisto and Mekaneck, so a sense of fun is needed, but Knight and the six (!) credited writers go too far in their self-deprecation; if they think this is stupid nonsense even after spending nine figures on it, why should I care?
In this opening, we meet Adam (Nicholas Galitzine), the Prince of Eternia and heir to the power of Grayskull, fated to become the mighty He-Man before the armies of Skeletor (Jared Leto) storm his parents’ castle and force Adam to flee to Earth, where he remains for 15 years before being able to use the Sword of Power to return home. He finds a realm in chaos, and must become the macho hero he always struggled to be as a kid to save the day and stop Skeletor.
It’s not a plot that’ll win any prizes for originality or unpredictability, but what’s more problematic is Masters of the Universe’s inability to find a unique visual identity. Outside of the entertaining opening battle, which wears its siege of Gondor inspiration on its sleeve, everything else here just looks like a side instalment of the Taika Waititi Thor films or James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy, part colourful fantasy, part slightly grosser sci-fi, all immediately forgettable. The action set-pieces within this generic setting, at least when they’re not being held back by some moments of really plasticky CG, fare better though, with more bite to them than most 12a fantasy-adventures muster up. It’s not exactly a high bar to clear, but it’s still refreshing to see one of these things even try to give a fight some more visceral stakes.
The other obligatory ingredient in the modern action blockbuster – the self-aware comedy – is also here in spades, and it really, really sucks. Masters of the Universe is exhaustingly unfunny, the script’s tired jokes meeting their banal match in a series of dull performances. Galitzine’s first stab at being an action hero lead is unconvincing (even with a bloated runtime, Adam’s switch from hopeless to badass happens way too suddenly) while Idris Elba is basically sleepwalking through his gruff drunken mentor role, and they’re actually two of the better performances (Alison Brie, as Skeletor’s right hand sorceress Evil-Lyn, is a contender for the worst acting of the year).
Saving the day, then, is up to the villain, and it’s impossible to deny that Leto fully delivers on that front. While his last couple of nonsense movies (Morbius, Tron Ares) have seen him get far too dour in the face of ridiculousness, as Skeletor he taps into the delightfully bonkers energy that made him the best part of House of Gucci. Putting on a very silly posh British voice and just generally giving the most dickish line-reads possible, he single-handedly makes the central plot work. You just know it’s going to be fun to watch him get his comeuppance, and that’s just about enough to hold you through to the end credits.
Given that it never rises above middling-to-bad and just how much money it’s projected to lose, the question of why this was made is impossible to answer. Masters of the Universe is certainly not the worst blockbuster of the year (at least it actually has a story, unlike recent Star Wars flop The Mandalorian and Grogu) but it’d be hard to argue against it being the most pointless.
Jack Blackwell – Film Reviews 